Politicians turned the North Melbourne grand final breakfast into a morning of sporting and political one-liners, with Alastair Clarkson’s sacking and Kylie Minogue among the targets of jokes at the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre.
More than 1,000 guests attended the annual event, which is now in its 60th year. As tradition dictates, prominent guests were introduced with a song before the speeches began.
North Melbourne president Dr Sonja Hood and chief executive Jen Watt were presented as “two female leaders who managed to be too woke and too ruthless at the same time”, accompanied by Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger.
Hood did not address her decision to remove Clarkson as North Melbourne coach earlier this month, but Deputy Prime Minister Richard Marles referred to the fallout in his remarks.
“While a Fremantle premiership may feel as likely as finding a complete set of coaching gear at a St Vinnies op shop, in this world stranger things have happened,” Mr Marles said, referring to Clarkson dumping his North Melbourne jackets at a local op shop after his sacking.
Opposition Leader Angus Taylor also used the former coach’s discarded clothing as the basis for a joke after receiving a North Melbourne cap from the club.
“The cap already takes pride of place in my Parliament House office. I won’t be dumping in at a Vinnies store in Hampton,” he said.
Mr Taylor then compared North Melbourne’s rebuilding effort with the federal Liberal Party, telling the audience the club was “currently struggling against the orange team” and had “a bit low on membership and definitely on the up”.
“So, who knew that North Melbourne had the trajectory of the federal Liberal Party?” he said.
He also referred to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s comments on the Bush Deep podcast in July, saying: “Kylie was such a big star and the prime minister is such a big fan that he’s had to delay his return from New York. Albo just can’t be trusted with melons [or] with Kylie, but thank God, Richard Marles is here to save the day.”
Ms Hood was wearing a Kylie Minogue T-shirt and tipped the singer to be the big winner from Saturday’s grand final. Merchandise sales suggested Minogue had already enjoyed a successful day.
Those attending the breakfast included Victorian Premier Ben Carroll, Victorian Opposition Leader Jess Wilson, AFL chairman Craig Drummond and chief executive Andrew Dillon, along with senior figures from the media, federal and state politics and both grand-final clubs.
