Prince Harry has described slipping into depression after leaving royal duties with Meghan, saying he became unable to function when the adrenaline of his former life suddenly disappeared.
In a video interview for MasterClass, the Duke of Sussex said he had also struggled for years to grieve the death of his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales. He said royal engagements could trigger panic attacks and that putting on a shirt and tie sometimes made him feel as though he was being strangled.
Harry said he and Meghan moved to Canada after stepping back from royal life in 2020 to create distance from what he called a stressful environment.
“Within two or three days of leaving that stressful environment, I experienced an adrenaline crash unlike anything I’d ever felt before,” he said.
“It was as though I needed stress for my brain to function. I became useless around the house. I slipped into depression for about two weeks and felt like I couldn’t function without adrenaline.”
The interview, entitled Redefining Grief: Building Resilience Through Loss, was recorded with neuroscientist Dr Mary-Frances O’Connor ahead of World Mental Health Day.
Prince Harry’s account of grief after Diana’s death
Harry said he was 12 when Diana died in Paris in 1997 and did not cry when he was told of her death, apart from at her burial. He said he then did not cry again for almost 20 years.
“I was convinced that was strength, but it wasn’t,” he said. “It was a 12-year-old boy with no permission to fall apart and no roadmap for how to heal.”
He said he had become emotionally numb and felt guilty about the prospect of being happy without his mother.
“I felt I had to stay sad and emotionally shut down to prove I missed her,” he said.
Harry said he now thinks about Diana “pretty much every night and then most mornings”. He recalled a therapist encouraging him to find his mother’s favourite perfume after he realised he could no longer remember the sound of her voice or laugh.
“Spraying my mother’s scent was almost like knocking certain bricks through so that I could see through and certain memories and experiences could start seeping through,” he said.
He added: “Everything I do, everything I put my energy towards, I hope that my mother will be proud of.”
Harry said therapy gave him “permission to grieve” and changed his understanding of his mother’s wishes.
“The reality is that what I discovered was that she just wanted me to be happy,” he said. “That was a huge mental shift for me. It freed me and gave me a completely different outlook on life.”
The Duke said the Army had provided a sense of purpose and acted as a distraction during years in which he was driven by adrenaline. He also described his deployment to Afghanistan as life-changing, saying the experiences there appeared to trigger other traumas.
Harry said he initially found it difficult to obtain suitable help from GPs, claiming some offered advice or medication without addressing the problems he was experiencing.
He also spoke positively about psychedelic-assisted therapy, saying the use of substances including magic mushrooms, MDMA and ketamine alongside conventional therapy could help people open up. He said the approach was becoming “mainstream”, although the treatment remains a subject of disagreement among doctors.
Harry’s ten-day rule for family life
Harry, who has two children with Meghan, Archie and Lilibet, said his happiness now depended heavily on maintaining time with his family while continuing his work.
“The key to maintaining that balance is spending no more than 10 days away from my wife and kids,” he said.
“It’s about balancing my work and sense of purpose with being a dad and a husband.”
The Sussexes are described in the interview material as being back in the UK, with their children having started school in the Cotswolds.
Harry’s comments came as Meghan made a public appearance in London for the first time in years, meeting Nobel Peace laureate Malala Yousafzai for afternoon tea at Claridge’s.
The pair previously joined a virtual discussion in 2020 about barriers to education for young women. Meghan’s latest appearance was described as her first public engagement in central London since Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral in September 2022.
