A small, qualitative study of young heterosexual women in Turkey has found broad support for the “one and only” belief—the idea that each person has a single ideal partner or soulmate destined for them. The research suggests that while participants viewed romantic narratives on social media as artificial, repeated exposure to such portrayals may still shape their expectations in ways that can be dysfunctional. The study appears in BMC Psychology and was conducted by Gökçe Sancak Aydın of Yozgat Bozok University.
Romantic relationships are a central part of many people’s lives, but researchers emphasise that beliefs about love are shaped by culture, gender norms and media representations. The study notes that some individuals hold unrealistic ideas, such as that love lasts forever, that everyone has a perfect soulmate, or that love can conquer all obstacles. Such beliefs have been linked with lower relationship satisfaction, conflict difficulties, and a higher risk of psychological dating violence.
The researchers draw on cultivation theory to explain how repeated media messages might influence people’s perceptions of romance. They argue that social media, in particular, can intensify idealised portrayals because users often share highly curated representations of their relationships.
The study involved in-depth, face-to-face interviews with 20 heterosexual women undergraduates at a university in Yozgat, a small city in central Turkey. Participants ranged in age from 21 to 35, with an average age of 22. Eight were studying guidance and psychological counselling, while 12 were in teacher education programmes. Six had never had a committed relationship, six were currently in one, and 14 had experienced at least one committed relationship.
All participants described their socioeconomic status as middle class and reported active use of both social and traditional media. The interview focused on what romance means to them, its importance in relationships, how it shapes expectations, four common romantic beliefs, and the influence of traditional and social media. Two researchers coded the transcripts to identify themes.
The study examined four beliefs previously identified in the literature: “love conquers all,” “one and only,” “idealization,” and “love at first sight.” “Love conquers all” denotes the idea that romance can overcome any obstacle, while “one and only” asserts that everyone has a single destined partner. “Idealization” refers to expectations that partners and relationships should be nearly perfect, and “love at first sight” suggests immediate, unquestioning infatuation.
Among the four beliefs, the strongest endorsement was for the “one and only” idea, with “idealization” ranking closely behind. Opinions were more divided on “love conquers all” and “love at first sight,” with roughly half of participants rejecting each. Some linked the “one and only” belief to their religious faith, with one participant referring to a Quranic verse about spouses being created for each other.
Participants who had never been in a relationship tended to endorse the “one and only” belief more strongly and described high standards that delayed or deterred relationships, though the study did not expressly compare groups. Those with relationship experience more often described how expectations—such as frequent gifts, compliments and surprises—could lead to conflict and disappointment, with many associating romantic gestures with male partners and traditional gender roles.
The participants perceived both traditional and social media as influential sources of messaging about romance. Turkish television series and films were viewed as promoting notions such as “love conquers all” and the idea of a destined partner, while social media was seen as having a stronger influence on idealisation through curated posts of seemingly perfect couples and guidance from relationship influencers. Some participants also mentioned influencers who claimed they had found “the right person” through manifestation.
Despite noting that they did not see themselves as directly adopting these messages, many acknowledged that media portrayals affected them. One participant explained: “Even if I know this, I am very affected by it,” describing how witnessing other couples’ romantic gestures prompted her to ask, “Is there something wrong with me?”
Participants also reported mixed messages in the media. News coverage of violence against women and daytime programmes focused on relationship conflict led some to reject the idea that “love conquers all,” while influencers sharing personal experiences challenged the notion of “love at first sight.” The author concludes that repeated media exposure can frame romance as a relational necessity and may shape romantic expectations in ways that could be dysfunctional.
The study’s findings contribute to understanding how young women in Turkey perceive romance, but the author cautions that the work is a small qualitative study involving 20 students from a single university in a small city, most of whom were studying counselling or teacher education. The study did not include men or LGBTQ+ individuals, and it did not measure participants’ media consumption, so it cannot establish causation between media exposure and beliefs.
The paper is titled “Dysfunctional romantic beliefs of heterosexual women undergraduate students: the role of traditional media and social media,” and it was authored by Gökçe Sancak Aydın.
