Spencer Matthews has revealed he has been sleeping in the spare room since the birth of his fourth child with Vogue Williams, saying the arrangement has left the couple feeling “a bit lonely”.
The couple welcomed their son Remy earlier this month and are also parents to Theodore, eight, Gigi, six, and Otto, four.
Speaking on his friend Jamie Laing’s Newly Parents podcast nine days after Remy’s birth, Matthews described the difficulties of adjusting to life with four young children while the family is living in a rental property during building work.
“I’m not complaining, but we are in that lovely bubble with three other young kids in a rental house because we’re building, so to be honest the bubble feels a bit disturbed there’s a lot going on,” he said.
Matthews said he and Williams were both feeling isolated in different ways, while he was working and she remained at home caring for their newborn.
“Vogue and I both in our own ways feel a bit lonely at the moment,” he said. He explained that he had chosen to sleep separately because “for us both to have broken sleep is unhelpful to the rest of the family flow”.
“We don’t sleep next to each other. I’m out. I’m working. Vogue’s more at home at the moment. I come home in the evening and we might have an hour together,” he added.
Matthews said the couple might eat together or watch television before Williams went to bed separately from him, adding that he missed being beside his wife.
“I don’t really like sleeping separately to her. We like being next to each other. Even if you’re not communicating, you’re together,” he said. “At the moment it feels a bit fractured. It sort of feels like you’ve fallen out because you’re staying in [another] room.”
Laing, who has a son, Ziggy, with his wife Sophie Habboo, agreed that becoming a parent could make it difficult to maintain a sense of being a couple.
Matthews said that, eight years after having no children, his and Williams’s lives were now focused on their family. “Any freedom that you enjoy as a, dare I say, successful couple that should be able to just do stuff, you kind of can’t,” he said.
He added that he was comfortable spending time away from his children, saying: “Look I love my kids. In the same breath, I can easily spend time away from my kids. And I think I think that’s normal, isn’t it?”
Matthews said his own father had worked long hours when he was growing up, but that he still loved him and they had an “amazing relationship”. He contrasted that experience with the more involved role played by many fathers today.
With help from their nanny, Matthews said he takes responsibility for the three older children in the mornings, including preparing breakfast and doing the school run. Williams prioritises feeding Remy and catching up on sleep after night feeds.
Although he admitted that the busy mornings could test his patience, Matthews said Williams “has got the hardest job”, adding: “I would really struggle with having the baby on me all of the time.”
