Ryan Papenhuyzen has insisted his retirement from rugby league is permanent, despite walking away from a million-dollar Melbourne Storm contract at the height of his career to pursue a different life centred on golf and mental performance.
The former Storm fullback, who won the 2020 NRL premiership and the Clive Churchill Medal, said he had no desire to return to the game after seven seasons and 113 appearances for Melbourne.
Speaking at Wollongong Golf Club, where he is playing off a handicap of 11, Papenhuyzen said he was still having to explain a decision that felt obvious to him.
“People just don’t believe it,” he said. “Maybe it’s the concept of walking away from a million dollars. [People think] why would you give that money up? There’s probably a little bit of disbelief with that.”
Papenhuyzen, 28, retired after last season’s grand final defeat by the Brisbane Broncos. A concussion in Melbourne’s final regular-season match had left him questioning whether he wanted to experience the physical and mental demands of professional rugby league again.
“When I walked out of the sheds, I was just rattled,” he said. “That [concussion] was scary. It felt like a bad trip, and I was quite emotional. I didn’t want to experience that feeling again.”
He said he had initially considered stepping away for at least a year, but ultimately found he had no wish to return. Papenhuyzen also rejected suggestions that he might switch to rugby union, or join the proposed R360 competition before it collapsed.
“No regrets,” he said. “I learned everything I needed to learn out of rugby league. I achieved success quite early on. Then had all the pitfalls of injuries. I feel like I lived out both ends of the spectrum.”
Golf has become a major part of his new routine. Papenhuyzen has spent time caddying for Australian golfer Daniel Gale and has begun coaching a small number of clients in mental performance.
He chose the Wollongong course for the interview while staying with his girlfriend’s family in nearby Bulli. The former Melbourne star said golf provided a useful parallel with life, with mistakes capable of compounding unless they were dealt with properly.
“Golf’s just like the game of life, I reckon,” he said. “You go through your journey of bad shots, but if you don’t respond to it well, then it’s going to be two bad shots, and it just compounds.”
Papenhuyzen admitted he missed the atmosphere of grand final week, having featured in three deciders, but not the pain and preparation required to reach that stage.
“Definitely … seeing the guys play and the arena and the crowds,” he said. “But then I just think back to what it takes to actually get there. You think of how sore you are leading into finals. I don’t miss that.”
Watching Melbourne miss the finals this season was difficult, although he said his ego was not affected. The Storm finished 10th, having been a regular presence in the later stages of the competition.
“It was hard watching the first game though, knowing that they won 52-4 against Parra,” Papenhuyzen said. “You start to wonder if you’re the problem.”
He said the club would need to examine what had gone wrong, while acknowledging that other absences had also played a part. Papenhuyzen compared Melbourne’s late-season freedom to the way a golfer can recover after a poor opening nine.
After initially withdrawing from teammates and coach Craig Bellamy following his decision, Papenhuyzen said he now felt comfortable with his choice. He has secured work with Channel Seven for the Rugby League World Cup, which starts next month, while keeping his future open.
“It comes with its challenges of not having certainty around what I’m doing,” he said. “But at the same time that flexibility and not being tied to anything is a nice luxury to have.”
