After six miscarriages in six years, Sydney mother Marcelle Cooper was terrified when she became pregnant again naturally — and later struggled with severe anxiety and numbness after the birth of her daughter.
Ms Cooper had eventually accepted that having children might not be part of her future. She and her husband travelled the world, focused on their successful careers and found comfort in a kitten as they tried to recover from their losses.
“As a couple, we were absolutely broken. We were exhausted,” she said.
After having her left fallopian tube removed, Ms Cooper said their chances of conceiving had been further reduced. The couple ultimately decided to stop trying.
“Perhaps a baby wasn’t part of our future,” she said.
Almost a year later, she became pregnant unexpectedly. The early part of the pregnancy was marked by fear, as she repeatedly monitored her symptoms and worried she might find blood when she went to the bathroom.
“We were scared to be hopeful,” Ms Cooper said.
Her anxiety eased after the 20-week scan, allowing her to enjoy the remainder of the pregnancy and the birth of her daughter. But when the baby was three months old, Ms Cooper’s mental health deteriorated.
She experienced frequent tears, numbness, severe insomnia, anxiety and digestive problems, while losing a significant amount of weight in a short period.
When her daughter was six months old, Ms Cooper remembered watching her giggle and babble while feeling completely numb herself.
“That really shook me and scared me, and it was at that point that I thought I can’t keep this can’t keep going,” she said.
Seeking perinatal mental health support
After struggling with her thoughts, Ms Cooper contacted her GP and was referred to Gidget Foundation Australia, which provides specialist support for expectant, new and potential parents.
She said the referral was life-changing. The organisation helped her develop tools to manage anxiety and recognise when she was beginning to spiral.
“You don’t know what’s going to happen, you don’t want anyone to think that you’re not a fit mother, or you don’t want anyone to take your baby away from you,” she said.
“You’re on this tightrope of like, this could go either way.”
Ms Cooper said her recovery began to gather pace after her daughter’s first birthday, and that she started to enjoy motherhood during the child’s second year.
Gidget Foundation Australia says perinatal depression and anxiety affects one in five mothers and one in 10 fathers, with about 100,000 Australians affected each year. It describes the condition as the leading cause of death among expectant and new mothers.
Ms Cooper now wishes she had known professional support was available throughout the journey to parenthood, including before conception, during IVF, through pregnancy and after birth.
“Had I known, and I had the support to grieve all of those losses as I was experiencing them, I think my outcomes after my daughter was born could have looked very different,” she said.
She has become a Gidget Angel to share her experience and encourage other parents to seek help, saying they should not minimise their losses because others might consider their circumstances worse.
“There’s free professional support through the Gidget Foundation, and asking for help is the hardest step, being brave enough to ask is when the wheels of change will be set in motion,” Ms Cooper said.
