Holidays can expose cracks in a relationship that are easier to ignore at home, according to writer and broadcaster Kat Farmer, who has reflected on the pressure a shared break can place on an unhappy couple.
Farmer, who was married for 20 years before separating from her husband, said a holiday can intensify existing tensions by removing the distractions and routines of everyday life.
“If you weren’t in a great place back at home, a holiday is like a magnifying glass on your marital problems, because you’ve packed up all those issues and squeezed them into a one-bedroom villa,” she said.
Despite the strain in her marriage, Farmer said she and her former husband did not tend to argue while away. She has previously described the relationship as having deteriorated gradually, with frustrations in daily life becoming increasingly difficult to overlook.
The couple share three children and eventually decided to end their marriage. Farmer has said the separation was handled amicably, with both recognising that they would be happier living apart.
Her comments offer a different explanation for holiday rows, suggesting that arguments abroad are not always caused by the trip itself. Instead, the confined space, heightened expectations and uninterrupted time together can bring unresolved problems to the surface.
Farmer has previously written about the small domestic tensions that came to symbolise the breakdown of her marriage, including resentment over household responsibilities and the growing distance between them.
For couples already struggling, she suggests that a holiday may reveal the state of the relationship rather than repair it. A change of scenery, she argues, cannot necessarily resolve problems that have been carried into the suitcase.
