Emily Ratajkowski proudly declared she went from ‘Madonna’ to ‘w****’ when she started ‘compulsively dating’ in the wake of her divorce.
She split from her husband Sebastian Bear-McClard in 2022 under a cloud of rumors about his fidelity, one year after welcoming their son Sylvester.
The 35-year-old then plunged headlong into a whirlwind, headline-grabbing love life that saw her sidestepping romance rumors with Brad Pitt.
Ratajkowski had on-off flings with DJ Orazio Rispo, and in the intervening time ran around with such names as Pete Davidson and Eric Andre.
In March 2023 she was spotted passionately kissing Harry Styles in Tokyo, in spite of the fact she was reportedly friends with his ex Olivia Wilde, who a Daily Mail source exclusively revealed felt the lip-lock was a ‘betrayal.’
Now she has finally pulled the curtain back on her newly-single phase – and dropped a shocking sex confession about her marriage – in an essay for The Cut.
She promoted the piece with an Instagram album in which she went topless under an open leather jacket and mimed breastfeeding a baby doll.
There was a drink in her hand and a man in underwear standing on the window ledge behind her, in a sly nod to the lifestyle she described in her essay.
Ratajkowski’s ex-husband is a movie producer who previously worked with the Safdie brothers and held credits including the Adam Sandler vehicle Uncut Gems.
Ratajkowski wrote in her new essay that ‘in a time period that felt both instant and excruciatingly slow, my marriage collapsed. Six months after my son was born, my husband and I stopped having sex. Less than a year later, we separated.’
When the split went public, a source said McClard ‘cheated. He’s a serial cheater. It’s gross. He’s a dog,’ via Page Six. Ratajkowski then poured fuel on the conjecture by liking a tweet that read: ‘can’t believe that little b*** cheated on emrata.’
In her new piece, Ratajkowski confessed: ‘I hated the condescending way people looked at me in the wake of my breakup. Their furrowed brows, the pity in their faces as they delivered an “I’m so sorry, Emily.”’
She added: ‘I couldn’t stand my pathetic reflection in their eyes. They saw me as someone who was unwanted, who had been left. A reject with the burden of a needy, hungry, two-foot-tall sidekick.’
Since childhood, she had lived in horror of becoming a ‘single mom,’ a position she felt would leave her with ‘no freedom, no choices, no emergency exit.’
When she found herself thrust into the role she had dreaded for so long, she cocooned herself in the protective persona of a man-eating femme fatale.
‘The character I’d learned to embody after my divorce, in my period of compulsively dating, was a villain: Poison Ivy. Catwoman. Sexual but scary. And she drank gin martinis. Many, many gin martinis,’ Ratajkowski wrote.
‘She was not tragic. Nothing close to a victim. No one needed to feel sorry for her. In fact, they should all be jealous,’ insisted the I Feel Pretty actress.
Ratajkowski recounted the raunchy story of a bar date with a man who had a ‘nasally stoner voice’ and wore ‘bright hoodies’ with ‘obnoxious gold jewelry’ that made him resemble a ‘walking, talking Myspace page.’
When she went back to his apartment and ‘found myself on my knees in front of him,’ she felt ‘especially satisfied by his expression when he looked down at me.’
The world-famous supermodel boasted: ‘He couldn’t believe I was putting his d*** in my mouth. He told me I looked like Cleopatra when I gave head. I’d found everything I’d come there for – a praying mantis devouring her mate.’
Before that night, she had slept only with ‘eight people,’ all of whom she was ‘pretty sure would fall in love with me, because I wanted to feel precious.’
Ratajkowski had harbored the perception that men ‘didn’t fall in love with, want forever with, raise babies with, or take care of sluts.’
Although she had hoped her ‘good girl’ personality would protect her from being ‘cheated on,’ she felt a growing sense of ‘naivete and inequality’ over the fact the men she ‘liked’ had been more promiscuous than she had.
Ratajkowski recalled ‘the dissonance I experienced when they talked about a girl they’d f***ed “casually” and were now friends with. There are girls who are capable of that? I wondered. I couldn’t relate, but I wanted to.’
She wrote: ‘I decided to f*** my way into a new kind of woman. I wanted to destroy the Madonna, the special girl I’d worked so hard to be before an eight-pound baby had torn my vagina in two, and replace her with the w****.’
Her first post-divorce date, she wrote, was with a sober DJ she declined to name who conveniently lived two blocks from what had once been her marital home.
According to Ratajkowski, the DJ opened the date by announcing that incest ‘actually runs in my family’ and proceeded to tell a story about his mother and sister walking in on him masturbating to porn he characterized as ‘some sibling s***.’
‘That was my introduction to the dating scene. I didn’t f*** him, okay?’ Ratajkowski informed her readers, before acknowledging he was ‘an anomaly.’
One of her dalliances was with an ‘Elder Millennial’ her friends described as ‘ugly’ who had a fondness for ‘dirty talk’ she found grating, but whom she stayed with for the ego boost of being with a man who wanted her more than vice versa.
She discovered that ‘many men are turned on by motherhood’ because they ‘experienced the loneliness that comes with years of selfishness’ and were ‘attracted’ to ‘self-sacrifice.’ She allowed: ‘Did they want me as their mommy? Maybe.
